My family eventually moved to Texas, yet we never stayed put, like California, we lived in homes in good neighborhoods but homes that were run down.  Our family got good at working together to fix these homes up then they would be sold, the profit would be invested and we'd move to another home.  Once there were 5 in a year.  Montana was my only constant. 

When I went to Montana I felt at "home" .  No where else did I feel this way.  I dreamed of moving to Montana but my husband, a Florida boy didn't like the cold. Plus his work was in Texas.  I still dreamed, and I visited and I cried, because the yearning was so deep into my soul, yet like many parents and adults I pushed aside my dreams thinking they were gone and never more to be.  I hung pictures all over my home, even on my mirrors and work desk area, of my precious Montana.  I had maps and flags and the wild flowers, all who knew me knew of my love and desire to live in Montana.  Yet I didn't go because I didn't know how in the world I'd afford to live there.

Then my husband died, I loved him dearly and I was devastated, I went to Montana soon after the funeral, it was the only place I could find myself again.  I found some peace and some calm.  Yet I had to return, for I had no way to make a living.   And my parents lived in Texas and wanted me there, plus my son had friends and his school there.    Again I pushed away my dreams and took on my responsibilities as a mother, daughter and head of the household.

I studied Stress Management, I became a certified Facilitator, this I could do in Montana, yet now my oldest son wished to graduate in Texas with his friends, so I'd wait.   However, I took Creative Writing and started writing short stories, news articles and the church bulletin.  I loved writing and that I could do in Montana also!

Time passed and we moved around, we'd lost our home when my husband died.  We stayed for a short while in a motor home at some friends house until we found a rental.  But that lasted a year before we moved to a mobile on my folks' land, but they decided to retire and again me had to move. I married a second time and had a precious baby boy, the marriage didn't work out, but my son made it well worth it.  During this time we found a little house and thought we'd settle there, but gangs roamed the area and it became unsafe. Then I moved to Dallas to work at a school with my stress techniques, but the school shut down when the founder suddenly died.  My son and I moved again,  back to the Tomball, Tx area, only to discover the water was polluted and undrinkable in our rental home.

I met my current husband online (after a year chatting) and together we decided to move from the townhome we leased, which was nice. But we eventually found a home in the country on an acre.  Our son made fast friends and thrived at his new school.  Yet I longed for the mountains, for Montana.

It was Darren, my husband who sat me down and told me I could dream and work toward my dream.  He has always been intrigued with Montana, he is from Australia, but read all the Louis L'Amour books of the Rocky's and Montana....Yellowstone...he was talking in a chat room about just that when I first met him......  I couldn't wait for him to meet my Uncle and Aunt, only before he could, my beloved Uncle had an accident while checking on cattle and was killed.

I can remember getting the news....I went numb.  We didn't have the money for me to go to the funeral, so I designed a website in his honor.  I ache thinking about his being gone even still although it's been a couple years now.  I loved him with all my heart and I thought he was my Montana connection.  Well, maybe once but Montana and I are connected by heart strings.  Montana flows through my veins, it soars throughout my body and soul.....Montana is my home.   We did go visit and Darren got to see the beauty.  He too felt at home.

Well, it's now 2009 (Sept) and we are planning to go, Darren is looking for a ranch management job, we plan to leave no matter what no later than Spring 2010.  To see my life long dream become a reality is so fine.  I'm so excited.

When I go to Montana, I dream of having a home where I have a little bit of land...I want water close by.... I'm a water person too! A view of the mountains...trees yet not so many that I can't see the big Montana Sky.....I want to decorate my garden with Gnomes and Faeries houses....and wooden signs.....lots of flowers and I like being called The Faerie Lady, and quite frankly, being able to live in Montana, to finally come HOME and to have a HOME is a Faerie Tale come true.  .....an I believe! I'll always believe!  Jani

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